After a couple of weeks traveling back and forth to the Council Bluffs area, I was looking forward to unpacking and unwinding this weekend. Having been preoccupied with my brother's illness and subsequent death, I didn't realize Saturday was my oldest grandson's birthday. With a gentle reminder in a phone call Saturday morning, and learning about a small get together in a local park (about 100-miles one way), plans had changed. In spite of my fatigue, I felt it would be worth the drive to partake in the celebration of my grandson's special day. Happy Birthday! Sugars Restaurant & Bar |
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He's chosen help from Hospice, no cancer treatments, and has signed papers for DNR (do not resuscitate). Most of the family is at or near his bedside. Even if he had chosen to try treatments, he's simply too weak to take any kind of tests or treatment.
He's been uncooperative and not eating well. The real challenge is trying to encourage someone to do something they don't want to do. I truly believe he's known for some time something has been wrong (something more than just a fall).
After his diagnosis, no one in the family knew anything for a few days; he chose to talk only to his doctor. After deciding to call in Hospice, a meeting took place with his daughter, brother and wife, medical staff and a nursing home facility which was a few miles from our "hometown". After consulting, it was decided not to move him. He is currently non-responsive.
Five children, all raised in a smoking family, and back then nobody really spoke much about "second-hand smoke". And, being blessed with free will, my brother chose to be a smoker himself. Actually, I think most of us "at least tried it". Having said that, there are many cases of people who die of lung cancer, being non smokers and being raised in a smoke-free home environment. Despite his life's choices it's still difficult to watch his deterioration and transition into death.
One thing this has done is give me a few epiphanies myself. Aging and death details is a subject I've been a 'fence sitter' about, most of my life. If the Lord is speaking to me, through this devastating challenge for my brother, "I get it. I know it's past time for me to get my own stuff in order - not just for me, but for my daughter, and grandchildren. Some difficult decisions are in order.
Whether you believe in God, or believe in astrology, or both, this is my horoscope for today:
Virgo 8/23-9/22 It may feel as if you're walking through a time warp now that past experiences meander their way back into the present moment. Your home and family life are cast in the spotlight as traditional Saturn travels through your 4th House of Roots. Although parental relationships -- with yours or your children -- can take on greater significance, this is your time to accept responsibility for your role in the bigger picture. Your most personal issues require your thoughtful attention; remember, you're setting the tone and direction for years to come, not only for yourself but also for those you love.
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